Killing me Sweetly
by H pylori
Summary: "You can either leave now or watch what I do. It doesn't bother me." Damon said quietly Slowly, he rested his hands against her fragile neck. Bonnie smiled one last time at him before he began to choke her.  None of the characters are mine.


Bonnie stared dejectedly out of her bedroom window. It was autumn and the weak sun barely warmed the ground. The Maple tree outside her bedroom window glowed in the weak rays, its leaves an array of autumn colours from dull yellows to warm oranges and differing shades of red. Bonnie sighed before breaking into a coughing fit that racked her body and left her trembling. She wasn't stupid. Her mother had the family doctor come to the house. He had said it would be best if Bonnie stayed in bed. He had said that if she got enough rest she would have a fighting chance. He lied. He'd said all the things he could to comfort her, but she had heard her mother sobbing late at night. Her sister had been taken leave from the clinic to help look after her – to spend more time with her. She was dying and she knew it. She wouldn't live to see the spring. She would be lucky if she lived through winter. Just then Mary rushed into the room a glass of water in hand.

"Are you ok?" she asked, concern marring her usually calm face. Bonnie simply nodded, even that action made her head spin. "Here," Mary helped Bonnie to drink some of the water and it helped. Bonnie was able to clear her throat a little. "Do you want me to get you anything?" Mary asked; her voice soft and soothing. Bonnie turned her head away and looked out the window again.

"Could you open the window?" Bonnie was scared at how weak her voice was. She had been able to speak yesterday, today it was barely a scratched whisper. Mary hesitated.

"I don't think that's a good idea, it's pretty cold today" she said, her voice strained at having to deny her sister something she wanted.

"Please..." Bonnie was cut off as another fit of coughs ravaged her already broken body "Please Mary? Just for... a little while?" Bonnie finished, her breath coming in sharp gasps by the end of the sentence. Her strength was fading and fading fast. More than anything, it was the speed of it which scared her. She wouldn't be able to say goodbye to her friends, to her family. Mary sighed.

"I'll leave it open for half an hour." Her sister finally relented and walked over to the window opening it. As she turned away, she also placed the extra duvet on Bonnie. Bonnie smiled.

"Thank you." She whispered. Mary smiled tightly in response and left.

It didn't take long for the dark bird to come out from hiding. As soon as Mary had left the room the crow hopped out from the shade of the branches and perched on the window sill. Bonnie's eyes brightened briefly before dulling again. She didn't want him to see her like this – so weak, so helpless. He was everything she wasn't. He was powerful and strong. His heart gave a twinge as he caught her thoughts before hopping in through the window. As he did so his form blurred and in place of the bird that had been there a second ago stood a well muscled man.

"Bonnie..." His voice trailed off and pain twisting at his face. Bonnie couldn't speak, her strength was spent. Instead she fought to raise her arm towards him. She had just managed to twitch her hand before Damon was at her side, holding her hand. Bonnie smiled sadly a single tear running down her face. Damon wiped the tear away gently, ignoring the tears running down his own face. No one knew of their affair. No one knew he cared so deeply for the girl who was on death's door.

"Turn me?" Damon's head snapped up to look at his love, the one girl who had made him feel as if he were a person – as if his feelings mattered. He wasn't sure he had heard her, her voice was so weak, so soft.

"Bonnie, my love, are you sure?" He needed her confirmation. He had considered it before now, but he couldn't force it on her. He wanted her to want to be with him. He wanted her to ask him to change her. Bonnie tilted her head to expose her neck fully. Damon looked into her eyes, he saw uncertainty, fear, and determination. He couldn't do it. Not like this. He had to be sure. Damon bit into his wrist, wincing slightly as his canines cut through his skin roughly. Bonnie looked at him confused. "Trust me" His voice was alluring, so compelling... He held his wrist to Bonnie as she drank. Her eyes never left his. Damon let her drink until he felt weak. He gently pulled his wrist back and watched the jagged wound close.

"Now sleep" Bonnie nodded again, his voice was so soft, velvety, so easy to listen to... She slept. Damon tucked the blanket around her gently and left again through the window. He was too weak to transform into a crow, so he dropped to the ground, letting out a soft 'oomph' as he hit the ground.

Mary returned and closed the window as softly as she could. She watched her sister as she slept soundly and smiled. Was it just her or did Bonnie look a little better? She seemed to have more colour in her face, and it was definitely the first time in over a month that Bonnie was sleeping without coughing. She left with a hopeful smile on her face. Perhaps all the girl had needed was a little fresh air.

Bonnie woke up feeling stronger than she had for a long time. She remembered Damon feeding her his blood, and telling her to sleep, but she didn't feel as if it was the strength that was meant to come with being turned. She didn't see any better than usual and she couldn't hear anything but the usual sounds. Her sister walked into the room.

"Bonnie, someone's here to see you. He says he is a friend. Do you think you're up for visitors?" Bonnie looked confused.

"I... think so." Both Bonnie and Mary's eyes widened in surprise at how strong Bonnie's voice was. It almost sounded as good as before she had got ill.

"I guess opening the window was all it took huh?" Mary asked; a warm smile transforming her face into the face she had before her sister became ill. Bonnie beamed in return.

"I guess so." Mary left and a few seconds later Damon walked in the door.

"Hey" Bonnie said. Damon moved over to sit on the bed beside her. "You didn't turn me..." Bonnie's voice was hurt and full of questions.

"Shhh," Damon said softly "I couldn't turn you when you were so full of uncertainty and fear. I want you o be at my side for all of eternity, but I want it to be because you truly want to – not because you were afraid to die." He explained, one had gently caressing her face. Bonnie frowned. "I let you feed off my blood so that the illness is temporarily stopped, if I were to keep feeding you my blood you could live a happy human life for as long as you wanted to."

"So I'm still sick?" Bonnie was trying to get her head around what he was saying.

"When my blood runs out of your system, you will get sick again, but I've fed you so much that you should be able to enjoy your old life for at least a week. I can give you more as well." He explained.

"Damon. I'm not scared of dying. I meant what I said when I asked you to turn me. I want to be with you. I was scared of dying without being able to say goodbye to all my friends, my family. I was scared because I would die and no one would know that I loved you. No one would think about how you would feel. I'm not scared of dying." Bonnie held his gaze as she told him how she felt. She loved him and wanted to be with him – even the pain of being bitten by him wasn't enough to put her off the idea of being able to enjoy life with him forever.

Damon had to hold back biting her then and there. It warmed his un-beating heart so much to hear that she cared that much about him, but at the same time it wasn't fair to her to escape dying permanently without saying goodbye to her friends and family only to have to disappear without saying goodbye to them.

"Bonnie, I will turn you. I promise." Bonnie watched with trepidation as Damon chose his words. "But, I think it is important that you at least say goodbye to your family. We can tell your friends what is really going to happen, but your family deserves to be able to say goodbye to you properly." Damon waited for her reaction. At first she was silent, then she was nodding slowly.

"You're right. I need to say goodbye to my parents and Mary. They would need closure."

Damon kissed her chastely. "I love you" he said.

"I love you too." She replied, squeezing his hand. Her mother walked in then and paused.

"I'm sorry... I didn't know you had visitors..." Damon smiled at the two women.

"It's ok, I was just leaving." He stood gracefully and walked out the door, he could feel both women watching him as he left.

Bonnie spent the new-found freedom enjoying the last of the sun with her family. Her parents insisted that the doctor have a look at her and she hadn't objected. The diagnosis was not reassuring to her parents but she knew it was better that they didn't think she was fully cured. She remembered the doctor saying that for now she was in remission. That she could get sick again and that there was no way to tell when – a week, a month, a year? She could enjoy several years however, she could also get ill again within a few days. Bonnie knew exactly how long she had left – she could feel the borrowed strength beginning to wane. On the fourth day – the day she knew would be the last time her strength allowed her to venture outside, she suggested a picnic. She convinced her family that she wanted to be able to enjoy nature and not take it for granted. If she might get ill again she wanted to make sure that when the time came she had no regrets. Her parents had agreed and they had all gone to the river to eat lunch.

Bonnie sat enjoying her sandwich and the slight breeze through her hair. She complemented her mother for making such nice food. She told her father how much she appreciated him being there for her and she told her sister how grateful she was that she had taken time off to care for her. As she finished her sandwich her waning strength betrayed her and she was doubled over in a coughing fit. When she was finally able to sit straight again, she had tears in her eyes. Her parents were already packing away the picnic.

"No! I'm fine" Bonnie attempted a smile "please, I'll be fine. A bit of lettuce went down the wrong way" She insisted. Her parents looked at her doubtfully. Bonnie beamed at them encouragingly "It's too nice of a day to go home yet anyway." Reluctantly, her parents took the food back out of the basket and continued eating, although they watched her much more carefully. Bonnie coughed a few more times on the way home, but for the benefit of her parents she waved it off. Although everyone acted as if nothing was different, everyone knew differently. Her time was up.

When they finally got home Bonnie's mother insisted that she go to bed. Bonnie agreed readily. She didn't want to stress her parents any more than they soon would be.

"I love you guys" She said, giving each of them a hug and a kiss. Each one returned the favour. Bonnie walked to her room slowly. It was true, she wanted to be with Damon forever and she wasn't scared of dying. She was sorry that she wasn't able to spare her family the heart ache that her 'death' would cause them. She was sorry that she wasn't able to tell them what would really be happening. Maybe after a few years she would be able to come back. Be able to ease some of the grief that was to come. She wasn't surprised to see Damon perched awkwardly outside her window. Nor was she surprised that he entered slowly. Neither of them needed to exchange pleasantries. It would only be awkward if they did. Bonnie looked around and then back to Damon, her eyes questioning.

"You'll want to sit at least" Damon said as he gestured towards the bed. Bonnie nodded and sat. Damon sat next to her after a few seconds. "I'm going to do this over a few days – that way you'll seem to be getting weaker and weaker. It also means that the illness _will_ kill you" Bonnie shivered at the thought

"Why can't we do it all at once?" She asked, her mind repulsed at the thought of being bed ridden and waiting for the illness to kill her.

"Because then _I_ would have to kill you, and because it needs to look as if the illness has taken you, I would have to kill you slowly – through suffocation." Bonnie looked at Damon. She knew he didn't want to cause her any excess pain, but at the same time a big part of her wanted it to be _his_ hands that killed her. She wanted _him_ to be the last thing she saw. She wanted to feel the life slipping away from her because of _him_. She didn't want the last thing she ever did to be coughing so hard her chest hurt. Damon caught the train of her thoughts and winced.

"My love..." a single tear gave away how torn up he was. "I..." He stopped and then changed what he was going to say. "If that's what you want. I'll." Again he stopped "If that's what you want, my love, then I will..." He couldn't bring himself to say 'kill you' and he couldn't think of anything to say that would be less brutal. Bonnie hugged him tightly before breaking away and coughing loudly. Damon was out the window in a second, shutting it softly before transforming into a crow and perching in the branches of the maple tree. Mary hurried in before Bonnie could question where he had gone. It took a while to convince her sister that she was fine and as soon as Mary had left again, Bonnie stood and shut the door. Damon was sitting awkwardly on her bed when she turned around again.

Bonnie sat on the edge, refusing to think about what was about to happen. She had known him for more than a year. Dated him for most of that time, she had given him her virginity and watched him not only feed but kill. Yet, in all that time the one thing she refused him, the one thing she could never bring herself to let him do... Damon pulled her so that her back was against his chest. She focused on the feel of the muscles there, the slow and even rhythm of the un-necessary breaths that Damon took. She felt him running his fingers through her hair both relaxing her and shifting it so that he had better access to her neck. Bonnie sighed in contentment as he bent to gently kiss and lick her neck. His ministrations felt so good, so tender... She almost forgot what was about to happen. Damon nibbled at her neck with blunt teeth. Bonnie stretched her head up, moaning slightly. There was a pause as Damon allowed his canines to lengthen and as Bonnie felt the change – both in the feel of his Power and the slight tips resting against her neck. Damon continued to comfort her. He whispered sweet nothings in her ear as he trailed feather light kisses up and down her neck, his hands rubbed her arms gently, massaging away some of the tension in her shoulders. He even added a very slight layer of compulsion to his words – urging her to relax.

When he felt her relax into his embrace Damon bit down slowly, gently. Bonnie's instant reaction was to scream out in pain, but Damon covered her mouth with a single hand. Once she was in control again Damon let his hand drop to her hip. They stayed connected for that until Bonnie began to feel light-headed from loss of blood. As Damon felt her consciousness begin to fade he tenderly retracted his fangs and lapped up the blood that leaked from the rapidly closing wound. He bit down on his own wrist and held it to her. She drank from him and she was drinking deeply. Damon was not going to feed her as much blood as he had the first time, but the feeling was almost intoxicating.

Bonnie wasn't thinking about what would happen after she drank, she was too caught up in the pure taste of his blood. A week ago she had been too close to death to truly appreciate how rich his blood was. Now however, she took her time, she savoured the flavour.

His blood was thick with Power, it was richer than the richest wine and twice as velvety as melted chocolate. It hinted at spices from exotic lands and sinful fruits. It was devilish and addicting and when Damon pulled his wrist away from her mouth, she whimpered for want of more. Damon chuckled behind her, causing the vibrations to hum through her back and resonate within her. He slowly and carefully extracted himself from behind her, lying her down. It scared him how pale she was, how weak she seemed.

"Tomorrow we'll finish the transformation" He promised her and with a kiss he left through the window, being sure to shut it after him.

The next day all of Bonnie's friends came to see her. She was too weak to even sit up by herself now. She couldn't keep her food down and she was coughing almost constantly. The doctor told her family that she probably wouldn't make it through the night. Elena sat stoically silent, contemplating the decision Bonnie had made. Stefan stood behind her, comforting her. Meredith kept glancing between Damon and Bonnie while Matt simply glared at Damon. As she fell once more into a fitful sleep Damon suggested that they all take turns watching her. He would take first watch. Her parents agreed readily and one by one Bonnie's friends filed out of her room. Elena and Stefan were the first to leave – both casting a lingering gaze at Damon as they left. Meredith followed suit, whispering a quiet "see you soon" to Bonnie as she left. Matt refused to go. Damon sighed.

"You can either leave now or watch what I do. It doesn't bother me." Damon said quietly as he sat beside Bonnie, gently tapping her to wake her up. Bonnie stirred, her eyes lighting up as she saw Damon, then clouding over with confusion as her eyes saw Matt hovering in the background. "He wouldn't leave." Damon said, reading the confusion in her eyes as he gently lifted her into a sitting position.

"Ma...tt, Pl...ease... go..." Bonnie struggled to get out. Matt struggled with the decision briefly before finally leaving and shutting the door. Bonnie opened her mouth again but Damon hushed her.

"Relax, my love." He said soothingly. Bonnie was too tired, too close to death to do anything but listen. This time, Damon didn't waste time in calming her down. Instead he lowered his head and bit down without warning. Bonnie started at the sudden pain, but was too tired to do anything and before long the pain gave way to pleasure. Bonnie felt her life slipping away ever so slightly and she knew that no matter what, she was going to die tonight. She didn't even realise when Damon stopped drinking from her. She barely recognised that he held her head to the base of his neck for her to drink. She drank. When Damon lay her back down it was with clouded eyes that she looked up at him. Damon swallowed. He knew what she expected of him and he knew it wasn't going to be easy. Slowly, he rested his hands against her fragile neck. Bonnie smiled one last time at him before he began to choke her. She gagged once, twice, three times and her hands instinctively reached for his hands, but she was too weak already, too far gone. Before her hands reached his, her eyes glassed over and the life slipped out of her. Damon released her and let the tears run freely down his face. He gently closed her eyes before frantically wiping the tears away. He left her dead on the bed, white sheets spread around her, hair mused around her head like a ring of fire and went to face her family.

The funeral was a small affair. Damon, Elena, Stefan, Meredith and Matt sat in the second row while Bonnie's mother, father and sister sat in the front. A lot of people who either worshipped the 'royal' clique sat behind them. Teachers and parents came to farewell one of the best students the school had and to mourn the loss of such a young life. All of Bonnie's friends gathered at the old boarding house after the funeral, each of them waiting for nightfall. The day seemed to stretch on forever. Damon began to pace. Stefan went to find something for Bonnie to feed on when she woke up. Meredith and Elena sat hand in hand discussing Matt in whispered tones while Matt glared at Damon.

Shortly before nightfall, Damon and Stefan both grabbed a shovel and made their way back to Bonnie's grave. Stefan's 'meal' for Bonnie sat silently under compulsion staring into nothingness. By the time they had reached her grave and begun to dig, night had truly fallen and all around them the sounds they were so used to hearing came alive. Owls hooted to each other in the trees, Foxes roamed the forest looking for discarded animals and mice scurried around attempting to hide from the hunters they so feared. Damon struck the coffin first and scrambled to clear dirt so he was able to open it. He could hear her soft breathing inside and he was anxious to get her back to the boarding house so she could feed. Stefan broke the lock on the coffin and they both jumped from the lid as it opened slowly. Bonnie sat up and took in the surroundings. Damon was the first to offer her his hand. She accepted his help silently. Together they climbed out of the grave and Bonnie looked around in awe. She could see the entire graveyard as if it were day, and she could hear Matt and Elena talking even though they were across the cemetery from her. Her fangs lengthened and her hand flew to her mouth. Damon smiled at her while Stefan hovered awkwardly behind them.

Bonnie looked at Damon, taking him in for the first time with her improved sight. He was even better looking than when she was a human, his features were perfectly angled and his hair reflected what little light there was in a rainbow of colours. She smiled and embraced him tightly.

"Together we'll rule the world" He whispered to her and she believed him.


End file.
